I’m in the process of getting another set of postcards made of some of my digital work (the first set is here), so I thought I’d write a little about each image I’m including.

The first such image is a simple one, but it carries a timeless message that I think speaks to all of us: squid make great bath-time buddies.

I mean, are there any two things that go together as well as a nice soothing bath, with scented soaps and maybe candles, and a large aggressive oceanic predator?

Wait … hang on … I think I may have spotted a minor flaw, here.

Squid live in the ocean. They like cold salty water, not warm soapy water! The soap might hurt their eyes, the water wouldn’t have the right minerals, and if you like your baths hot, the squid might think you were preparing calamari. That would hurt it’s feelings.

Okay … let’s think … new, slightly revised, message: squid make great bath-time buddies, provided you use child-safe soap, and keep the water cold and salty.

Good. I’m glad we settled that. Now there’s no danger of your large aggressive oceanic predator with a beak like a bolt-cutter being made uncomfortable by the bath-time experience.

Uh-oh … another thought … about that beak … squid are actually fearsome predators. What if it gets hungry? They’ve been known to have a go at people, which might put this timeless-message-that-I-think-speaks-to-all-of-us on a tricky legal footing.

Okay … don’t worry … I’ve Googled it, and it turns out that divers who specialise in dealing with large squid wear a special mesh armour (it’s actually anti-shark armour, but the squid don’t know that). So simply pop a suit of chainmail on before your bath, and you’re good to go.

So to recap: squid make great bath-time buddies, provided you use child-safe soap, keep the water cold and salty, and wear a chainmail suit (sold separately). It’s a timeless message that I think speaks to all of us.