I’m in the pro­cess of get­ting anoth­er set of post­cards made of some of my digit­al work (the first set is here), so I thought I’d write a little about each image I’m includ­ing.

Postcard_bathtime_smallThe first such image is a simple one, but it car­ries a time­less mes­sage that I think speaks to all of us: squid make great bath-time bud­dies.

I mean, are there any two things that go togeth­er as well as a nice sooth­ing bath, with scen­ted soaps and maybe candles, and a large aggress­ive ocean­ic pred­at­or?

Wait … hang on … I think I may have spot­ted a minor flaw, here.

Squid live in the ocean. They like cold salty water, not warm soapy water! The soap might hurt their eyes, the water wouldn’t have the right min­er­als, and if you like your baths hot, the squid might think you were pre­par­ing cala­mari. That would hurt it’s feel­ings.

Okay … let’s think … new, slightly revised, mes­sage: squid make great bath-time bud­dies, provided you use child-safe soap, and keep the water cold and salty.

Good. I’m glad we settled that. Now there’s no danger of your large aggress­ive ocean­ic pred­at­or with a beak like a bolt-cut­ter being made uncom­fort­able by the bath-time exper­i­ence.

Uh-oh … anoth­er thought … about that beak … squid are actu­ally fear­some pred­at­ors. What if it gets hungry? They’ve been known to have a go at people, which might put this time­less-mes­sage-that-I-think-speaks-to-all-of-us on a tricky leg­al foot­ing.

Okay … don’t worry … I’ve Googled it, and it turns out that divers who spe­cial­ise in deal­ing with large squid wear a spe­cial mesh armour (it’s actu­ally anti-shark armour, but the squid don’t know that). So simply pop a suit of chain­mail on before your bath, and you’re good to go.

So to recap: squid make great bath-time bud­dies, provided you use child-safe soap, keep the water cold and salty, and wear a chain­mail suit (sold sep­ar­ately). It’s a time­less mes­sage that I think speaks to all of us.

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One Response to An Important Message About Squid

  1. […] • Octomism: Tired of pess­im­ism? Unhappy with optim­ism? Try some­thing more tentacle‑y! • Squid Make Great Bath-time Buddies: Well, someone needed to say it! • Nautilus Morning: Because we all have that sort of day every […]

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